I married my husband when I was nineteen and not yet a Christian. My reasons for falling in love were pretty "secular": I enjoyed his personality, I was physically attracted to him, I felt comfortable with him and liked how he treated me.
We've been married since September 5, 1970, so I suppose it's too late to ask:
Did I marry the wrong person?
There are many of you out there just like me. You married your husband for worldly reasons. So what does that mean? Could you have married the wrong man? Is there someone out there whom God intended for you? Should you look for him?
I found a quote that has a wonderful answer to this question:
“Although you do want to marry someone you are basically compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married.”
Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After
I might reword this: A healthy marriage has more to do with being the right person than marrying the right person.
Many people make foolish decisions about marriage.
Before we're married, we should do everything we can to avoid a bad match. It's better to remain single than marry a partner who is ungodly. Christians should never, under any conditions, marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14; widows: 1 Corinthians 7:39).
But once we are married, we need to quit asking that question. No good comes from it.
But great good comes from asking God to make us "the right person" for our spouse.
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22,23
This week...this day...have you been showing love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to your spouse? Are there areas where you need to improve? Ask God for help!
Final thought:
What if you give it your best, and your spouse never changes? Are you free to move on and find another spouse? Honestly, it is a very rare situation for someone to give it their best without seeing some improvement, but there are two important things to remember:
1. Changes take time. We shouldn't expect a "quick-fix." Scripture encourages us to persevere. See Galatians 6:9 and Hebrews 12:1-4.
2. Marriage is a commitment we made before God (Mark 10:9). Even if our spouse never becomes the person we want him/her to be, we can become the person God wants us to be. See Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:12.
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Bible Love Notes